contact time and training ended late afternoon, about 5:15pm yesterday. i was supposed to go back early, and prepare for some family portrait session. once i finished the training in the school, i got back to the staff room and the first thing i happened to see, was a sms message from my old man that went something like this - "where are you? are you coming back now? do you know we have to be in toa payoh at 615pm!"
with a message that ends with an exclamation mark; it was a poignant reminder that i had to hurry. i packed and left hastily. when i got back home, i realized that my topmost pouch of my backpack was not closed - my mobile phone was inside, but my compactflash card reader was nowhere to be seen! i reached home at about 1800 hours; and i panicked. it's the cumulation of my work, where was it! since the staff room would be almost empty now, there was nothing much i could do but to rush back to look for the reader (obviously with my cf card in it)... and it wasn't hard to tell which was more important - my work, or this family photo.
i then said that i wished to go back right away and hunt for my card reader, and said to my folks not to rush me, since they didn't know my schedule in school; and the old man flared up and said that it was a stupid idea to take this kind of photo, and told me to get my 2 bikes out of the house blah blah blah... a lot of unrelated stuff - essentially the point was, he doesn't like me, and was telling me to get lost. with a family like this, it's not hard to see why i don't particularly like my "family". to be brutally frank, i don't like this old man either - i can remember when i was at my lowest point in life, he jeered at me and said that i deserved it when i injured my knees from running... and that alone almost spurred me to suicide when i was in the army, can't run, with my instructors thinking that i was malingering, and i was intent to bust my knees up, and totally retire from all physical activities. it isn't hard to see how eager he was to support me during my competitive days either; people would say that i had a good dad because he'd be at the end of the marathon waiting for me - first thing he would say was, "are you ready to go back home?" when all i wanted was to have a rest after finishing the distance. i don't need encouragement from my family - i never did - but i would rather do with silence and indifference instead of a negative light from them. so go ahead and criticize me when i lambast my family members, peppered with vulgar language and so on. there's a damned reason for it, in case those imbeciles who like to comment on my site saying that i'm an arsehole etc etc, want to find a case. because they're not in my shoes, they don't know. it isn't a secret that i enjoy myself most when i'm on either of my bikes.
so i rode out back to school, managed to find the card reader with the cf card in it, and took a slow ride to tiong hin to unwind. met
betterfeel there, he had just struck a puncture while riding back home from work.
i'm not getting this family portrait done, whatever the case. i'm not regarded as a member anyway. and i would really enjoy more time on my bikes, riding away.
