take a walk around town with...

Sunday, June 29, 2008

watched 10 promises to my dog with my girl this afternoon, hardly is there a movie that can make me bawl (minus the sound effects, of course).

the list below was closest to the translations during the screening - lifted from here (great job girl!)

Ten Commandments of Dog Ownership
1) Listen patiently to what I have to say.
2) Trust me, for I am always on your side.
3) Play with me a lot.
4) Don’t forget that I have feelings, too.
5) Let’s never fight.
6) If I don’t obey you, I have a good reason.
7) You have school, and friends, but as for me, I only have you.
8) Stay my best friend even when I’m old.
9) I’ll only live about ten years, so let’s make every moment count.
10) I’ll never forget our life together, so when my time comes, please be by my side.

the entire lot of the commandments are so applicable even to human relations - and that was quite a reflection into life itself.

absolutely worth watching. can't say much, other than it indeed parallels what tim delaney wrote in 2003 - "sport is a microcosm of society" - and i'd probably add, "some movies are a microcosm of life." guess this was the real reason why i was so, so touched watching the show. i remember the scene of akari missing sending off susumu at the airport... which reminds me of how inexplicably sad i was when who i saw as my "big sister" figure stacey foo, had to leave singapore to be posted in new york to work for a few years back in 1999. of course, since then she married lawrence ang, however she filled in the role of the elder sister i never had.

kind of funny, the way life turns out to be.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

i am in the process of waking up from a prolonged dreamland, which has the potential to become a nightmare.

some things i resolved to make a change to:
1. selling consequences to people i meet, not risk (or lack thereof)
2. find out what people want, and let them have it
3. find out why, and all reasons in addition for a decision

when and where are the boundaries a person's mind?

let me reset my mind and work my way back to my mdc by november. however i have to factor in two periods of time i wouldn't be around:

august 4 to 20 : reservist
sept 1 to 5 : osaka

my inner clutter is being worked upon, so that i can make more use of my inbuilt "processor power" instead of working on a top end computer using windoze. oops!

i am beginning to talk to business owners about a virtuous (instead of vicioous) referral cycle. and at the same time, i am beginning to talk to managing directors, managers etc. some experts (so they say?) claim that 80% of the money come from the top 20% of one's clients. at the same time, i'm working on the 80% who only to improve this so-called ratio.

everyone needs to be insured, i'm no exception. for my level i'm covered to about only 700k. still could do with more - considering that chronic illnesses like diabetes will wipe out ALL my future family plans into oblivion!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

would you patronize such a photographer "friend"?

****@yahoo.com.sg says:
saw your F face on the photos..

sehsuan@hotmail.com says:
what is called F face?

****@yahoo.com.sg says:
FUCK Face... hahaha

would you really think such a person deserves to have business from you?

after attending our mid-year kickoff (it wasn't named as such, however it served the exact same purpose) just days after the marathon, it came to a realization as i was streaming out with the crowd of agents from the company - the 3000+ of us agents and managers have just the same relation as when we were all running the same distance during the marathon in some ways.

1. some go faster, some go slower. majority of us aim to get to our destination anyway!
2. most finish regardless of timing, but still there are those who give up because of conditions beyond control, such as severe pain (piles, anyone?) or injury (death, injury to self or family)
3. we can all cooperate on this "long run" - just like how i took turns both shielding and providing a shield to a fellow runner from the cold wind along parts of the route, both receiving and giving a draft to a fellow runner (agent)
4. don't go too fast at the beginning - sure to get burnt out of energy!
5. admit along the way that we're not infallible - we're weak at times and need help, and similarly we ought to provide assistance to those who ask for it
6. it's the journey that matters - not just the destination
7. a loved one waiting at the end point helps us to strive towards the destination regardless of literally, "ups and downs" along the run
8. we are all in a race together - the human race
9. we all need training so as to be able to run well (at least in the motor skills aspect for efficiency)... same for those agents who may have seen more clients and hence gleaned a higher efficiency in the process
10. the more training done (seeing clients, running more frequently), the unlikelier we get tired on race day (at least we can stave it off till later)
11. there are possibly cheats within the midst, however i'm thankful the majority of us are morally upright and don't hop a cab to the finish!
12. energy gels etc are available during the times when we need a pick-me-up... just like the small treats we give ourselves sometimes
13. the smallest bits of kindness makes a friend along the long run
14. we are all in it, the good times, the bad times
15. all finishers are winners in every way, in each our ways

it's an incredible business, i must say!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

i just confirmed this statement - as controversial as it sounds.

my dad, who is already on high blood pressure medication told me that he is NOT interested in the long term care policy even though i'm the one paying for it. he added that he will NOT implicate me for whatsoever reasons (which i take to be financially in ALL ways)... hence effectively when such an occasion arises, i have already been absolved (from tonight onwards to eternity) from all such responsibility to my sister. yes, you read it here on my blog, you can quote me for it. everything's going to my sister. the reason for why i take such a stand is because i know i will have to pay it one way or another.

i've made my offer to take care of the risk, and i'm clearly NOT going to burn away cash from my monthly income at all. it's absolutely stupid to risk burning over a thousand dollars a month for as long as a person at home is physically unable to take care of oneself. how much money is that worth? i don't know, i just guess it's a damned lot!

i'd do it entirely by insurance or i won't do it at all - since he picked a "no" to the former, it's only the latter that is the clear answer. remember, i'm a working professional in this line, how could i self-insure this risk? (i.e., an individual insures oneself by paying out of their own pocket) i don't want to be caught in a situation where i get married, and on top of my own commitments, i have to commit well over a further a thousand bucks on an insistent person who said he wasn't gonna implicate me over money matters in any way. with the rate of inflation going up, i really wonder how much foresight he has. people ARE living longer, because of medical advancements on the whole.

i'm glad to be able to sleep well from tonight onwards - at least i got to clear up my doubts over this period of time. at least i offered to take care of him, but i've been turned down. hence... from tonight onwards i'm free of all responsibility. i've offered the olive branch, he rejected. it's as clean cut as it gets.

at the same time, i will only give one last opportunity to offer my services to my relatives - after which i will not call upon them anymore. from that point of time onwards, i will NOT offer my services to my relatives (paternal nor maternal) in relation to my professional point of work, for majority of them do not give a chance to see me as a professional.

why insist on working with people who do not trust in what you work full-time?

Monday, June 02, 2008

i completed the sundown 42k in 6:20+... a far cry from my 3:16 in 2000, however this time it was totally in a world (or class?) of its own.

for the first time, i didn't have somebody to tell me, "let's go back quickly" after a marathon, rather i had a loved one who was so patiently waiting for me at the finish - and i knew that despite the long physical distance in between where i was on the run and where she was. one doesn't need nuclear fuel for that much energy (or motivation) to finish!

when my piles hit me at just about 20 to 21k, the internal struggle was so real. ok, i shan't go too much into gory details of it, apart from that it just that it made the prospect of going the extra 20k to the finish a horrendously bleak proposition. "what? how on earth am i gonna get back when my arse is hurting this f-ing bad?" when my other pals overtook me and cajoled me to pick up my pace (i was doing about 1:42 for the 20k mark - go figure the time i took to finish the remaining 20+k), all i could respond was that i had a "pain in the arse", literally...

it isn't any more about the classic dilemma when you're at the half marathon mark - the struggle between wanting to carry on and wanting to give up. the arse pain was fricking REAL!

it was quite a nice experience to have edward and eileen catching up with me just as i entered the stretch at bedok reservoir, and it was nice to be able to be present to run with them. however, i had to let them go because my left knee was starting to act up. it was probably the 28+++ km distance in the whole marathon, from the distance marker placards that i saw later. unfortunately, edward lost his car key (!!!) as well as a pack of powergel. oh man...

my girl knows that dream theater was a massive (and still IS!) part of my life... the music literally saved my life almost a decade ago, and it gave me the love and resolve to keep persisting. my mind had the uncanny presence to tap into those songs long forgotten to give me an alternate source of power.

i wasn't able to clearly replay this in my mind, but the meaning was close when pain was real:
take all of me, the desires that keep burning deep inside
cast them all away, and help to give me strength to face another day

(the root of all evil)

for the boring tampines ave 10 stretch, it was:
just close your eyes, you can find all you need with your mind
(take the time)

on the last stretch of netheravon road as the rain came down, the lyrics from "trial of tears" rang through my head
i may have wasted all those years
they're not worth their time in tears
i may have spent too long in darkness
in the warmth of my fears

(trial of tears)

years ago, i'd never expect to being able to persist the completion of the distance despite of pain from my left knee, which would usually rule me out anywhere after 12 to 14km. ever since it was such a heartbreaker when i had to pull out. thankfully the run was in the wee hours, when i could have extra time to finish it without being charred to a crisp. it's a seven-plus year long trial of tears to slay the demons of the past, and too i had such a wonderful girlfriend who was very attentive to me. sometimes i wonder how i may be able to learn to do more for her as well!