went off after a confusing discussion with angie and dylan regarding our instructional strategies assignment, and pedalled off at about 2:30pm heading towards acs (independent). i reached the school at only 3:20pm, and i was quite late for the seminar on newater that mr lim swee say was hosting. at least i didn't miss the part on the explanation of how the water is processed - comparatively speaking, the membrane across which the untreated water contaminants go through, has pores the size of tennis balls. water molecules have the relative size of a table tennis ball - so it passes through the membrane easily. chemicals, virii and bacteria, are the size of a football, mack truck, and building respectively - so they can't make their way through the membrane - and hence are filtered out. cool, isn't it?

i also took back two bottles of newater for collecting's sake. pretty nice bottles! anyway, read more at pub's newater site.

feeling sickly right now, as i type in this blog entry from the nie library. parched throat for the last day and a half, but here's more to what happened this afternoon.

the first major thing for the day was that i had to call back to major indra regarding my inability to turn up at sembawang country club for an army divisional dinner, for what event or occasion i have absolutely no idea. managed to convince him though, that i'll be down on sunday for the running training, whereafter which i would cycle over to woodlands to join in the second half of the raleigh singapore project care round-island trip. the route seems kind of boring, but it isn't that bad when you know you'd have about 20 other cyclists with you on the way as well. jeam told me that she'd probably teach me how to cycle using only one hand if there's enough time this sunday, so that's something to look forward to.

assignments i have on hand are -

subject	who	date due
social psychology	alvin, faisal and henry
exercise physio	hui
creative dance	loqman and azhari
gymnastics	faisal and ceqin
instructional strategies	dylan and angie

anyway, for next thursday's pession to be held at china jump, i'm inviting jeam to join me in the festivities (well, sort of, anyway). now waiting for her confirmation only...

the way i'm cycling now, i'm confident by the time i can buy my own racer (of which my dream bike is the cervelo p2k, or if finances allow, the cervelo p3), i'll blow the wheels off some of the national triathletes.

90km on sunday, and 30km on monday. all done on my full suspension bike with a cromoly frame (for those of you who don't understand, it's just marginally less dense than steel) with definitely not enough recovery. i don't need to make too many friends with those who aren't on my side - after all, it is an individual race. and there's more. carried up and down my bike six storeys for at least three times in these two days too.

and today's highlight - the multistage fitness "beep" test - i went up to level 11, stage 6. just 40 meters lesser than ban hwee. i'll blow off the wheels off those who think i'm a fluff and/poseur who wants to get a full-fledged triathlon specific bike. yes, robert, you. and that girl whom i kicked in the mouth during swim training.

i haven't called huijia for quite some time now, although her contact numbers, i could rattle off at any time. but from what i asked bev and a few other close mei's - the view is pretty unanimous - the girl is an unfaithful girl. i don't want to impose any "branding" on her, but i'll just let things remain... silent.

monday
woke up at 6:30am without packing my bag for class. by the time i finished packing, it was practically 7am already! if i chose to take public transport over to nie, it'd be probably 8:45am earliest! so what choice did i have? i took a gamble and decided quickly to cycle instead over to nie. most of the way, i engaged the largest chainring that i had and paddled my butt off - and as a result, i reached my department by 8:25am! so i see, two days of cumulative 120km does not affect my fitness/strength condition - in fact, it boosts it!

in the evening, i went back over to hall 10 to take part in the inter-block games (road relay). guess what? i was the anchor runner for my team, and heck, i clocked in probably as one of the fastest at 10:18 approximately, for the under-3km route that includes two killer slopes! that timing was good enough for me to beat my timing of 10:50 last year!

i was blur in the evening though - i managed to somehow leave my small bunch of keys hanging from my locker after i kept my racing shoes back in it! thankfully, i discovered the boohoo after cycling back to hall 10 and carrying my bike up about six storeys high. had to bring down my bike, and then cycle over quickly back to nie, just to retrieve the keys. phew! spent the night over in yong xi's hostel room...

tuesday
blur day as well. finished watching xxx at jurong point - it was hall 10's mass movie night. i almost lost the newly duplicated key to my hall 10 room... only to find it back in my hangbag...

cool. an "anonymous" person wrote the following in the guestbook:

"if u friggin had 10x800m track work which ended at 830pm the night before and had to run at 8am the next day you would know what it feels like. btw, don't bring robert into this. my 'duno what team' happens to be the NTU road race team, but of course u wouldn't know that, would u? and of course u didn't know that when people go hard in a race u breathe heavily at the finish line, right? lave 'drama mama' to the theatre. you know something, u're the best, u rule. please get my name off your damn page. thanks."

i wonder who that is. anyway, if i'm correct about who that really was, and you don't know who it is, let me give you a hint - she's a person who haughty enough to an extent that she doesn't even bother to reply a message seeking advice on how to store a bike in hostel/on campus. in fact, for a lot more other occasions, not a single sms asking for opinion about a certain particular sport, was ever replied. but if it's really that person reading my site, i'm pleasantly surprised. but i'm not convinced. anyway, this person has a problem - but of course, that's my personal opinion. wait. i'm convinced. i'm convinced that the person has a problem. to be precise, an attitude problem.

anyway, if i were ever to do that kind of purported workout the night before any race, i definitely will not even think of racing the next day and show a "shag" face at the end. somehow, this just reminds me of the army lingo - "shag cannot think is it?!" otherwise, i'd take the option of being smart enough to rest well the night before and skip that training. as phua chu kang would say, "use your BLAIN!" but all these i say, i hypothetically suppose that the person who typed that actual message may be an imposer. but i can't be really be bothered anyway - either way, be it the real mccoy or an imposter, can't affect how i train, how i race. as i mentioned yesterday, i do not like to see people who make any sport look more like torture instead of a pleasure, a joy to the masses. if they do it that way, which spectator in the right frame of mind would even think of trying out the sport? chasing away the very people one would want to attract is an oxymoron.

back in the morning though, i met up quite a lot of the fellow cyclists who volunteered as bike leaders for the project care charity ride at kallang leisure park. sadly, cue overslept and decided not to come, paceman and wer decided to pop over to sentosa instead. well, at least i had ghostami for company. the group rode a variety of mountain bikes, and only two rode road bikes - a trek usps and a jad bike - really fast, nice and neat lookin'! the mountain bikes ranged from my khs to treks, giants and gary fishers.

on the route, along jalan ahmad ibrahim, i was the first to get a puncture from some metallic shard that was just one out of a million other similar pieces on the road. in fact, i used up two of my presta inner tubes today - one for myself, and one more for our bike "sweeper". in fact, i was so convinced that we needed more inner tubes just in case that i rushed back to my locker and took out two more presta tubes as the entire group refilled water bottles/bags at ntu src. total cycling distance for the day - about 100km! woah!

didn't sleep enough for the day, but somehow i had enough energy to run the e.w. barker challenge run. thankfully, i still managed to clock in the fastest split for my team, although it's nothing compared to kien mau's fantastic running. i have no idea how fast he ran, but i witnessed him doing a 34:50 10,000m track race. back to the race, basically, it's a 5 man relay of a loop that runs from nie, round nie, over to hall 10, and back into nie, with majority of the route being accompanied by service 199's bus route. the class girls did fantastically well, and so did the guys. well done girls!

but of course, there's always those few "drama mama's" that sort of spoil the show. of highlight, one particular boy from river valley high, if i'm not mistaken. when he was running his last 10 meters or so to finish for his team, he gave a loud "ARRRGGH!" and ran pretty strong - in fact, he picked up his speed. once his body crossed the line, he sort of plummeted for the grass verge lining the pess block. anti-climax! then there was another ponderous moment. the last runner for a team from acjc (or was it acs?) sort of buckled and ended up in a kneeling position just before the finish line. man, how i wanted to shout to him, "oei, you haven't finished yet ar!" of course i imagined the possibly hilarious moment when he might thrust himself over the line and splay himself across the finish line, and remaining fully prone in that position.

why are there kids who want to make running such an ardous event, a torture? i talked to rameshon, who was a ex-national marathoner now teaching at the chinese high, and he told me the best way he deals with such drama mama's is to tell them, "you're not running the next race." he told me, he'd usually get some "i'm ok, i won't collapse!" kind of protests from the just-recovered runner after the whole event is over. in fact, when he just finishes telling them that, all the rolling, constipated-face look, possession-like screaming and the accompanied exorcism will instantly end! i talked to him mainly because one of the chao botaks from his school whom i overtook early in the race (both of us are the fifth runner for our teams) finished the entire run, struggled for a few steps, and promptly plopped on the grass verge and rolled over, going URRRRGHH! URRRRRGH! , grimacing, gnashing his teeth (what? the bible? - "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth") and sort of reminded me of a wild boar rolling in the mud, because where he rolled was indeed grass with large clods of muddy earth. had to tell him to slow down and deepen his breathing, then i rushed over to my bag and took out my fairly new nike windbreaker and covered the lad, because he was complaining of feeling cold. that would have been a big problem, because the sun was blazingly hot at that time! and this boy, rameshon told me he knows of such "doings". hmmm. rameshon continued, telling me that from his prior experience that some of the students he coached before doing that, he would not coach, because they've some inherent problems. in fact, he would tell students that world-class runners like haile gebrselassie and hicham el gueerouj would never collapse, and in fact, would walk around fresh, finish their victory laps, be ready for an onslaught of media interviews.

anyway, jeanette finished as the fifth runner of her dunno-what team, and she looked beaten to a pulp. come on, it's not even a olympic-distance triathlon and she's already so beaten up? a case of our national triathlete having a bad day? perhaps. just before she crossed the finish line, she raised her arms and sort of celebrated *something* and pumped her arms in the air, but contrast that visual feast to six seconds later where she was gasping for her breath... sigh. her performance today seems to dip in the side of a near drama mama too. wonder who robert choy would want to call poseur now. anyway, i think if i were to be given any say, i'd disqualify any single such drama mama-finisher for any race. like rameshon said, these people are a nuisance and distracting the medical team, while attracting the attention of the entire crowd at the finish area. hmmph! serves you right, all you drama mama's!

why do some kids want make running look so torturous? is it a choice that people make just so to indicate to others, how much a slut for pain they are? i saw another acjc girl coming in over the passing over zone, and her lips were pale. i mean the colour of her lips were the same as her obviously pale cheeks! for the benefit of those who are in sports who are reading this, champion german marathoner uta pippig was interviewed a few years back, and she was quoted to say that she would purposefully finish her 42 km endeavour called the marathon smiling, and this is exactly how she wins hearts of many spectators of the boston marathon. in fact, she was known to blow kisses to the crowd - because she so believes in letting people know about the beauty of long distance running. ever since reading that, i've changed even more - running became an enjoyable activity instead of proving who's the world greatest torture slut.

and by the way, finishing a run with a smile and a grin () is the best way to finish - have you ever read that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile? and imagine the sheer wasted energy spent grimacing! so remember, this is how you should look when you do your leisurely runs, or trainings! --> all these happenings made what nick aplin taught us regarding those 10 points regarding social sport psychology make full sense.

and a very final note - some of the samba boys and girls from diploma year 2 made it to the tv screen! i'm sure i saw lan ban, melisa and debbie amongst many others! tv stars!!!

-addenum-
rameshon also mentioned something to me - these drama mama's usually would pull off such a feat of convulsion that when they are asked about how they did for their race, they can actually give that muscular dysfunction that caused them to do all that drama as an excuse for not running well. hmmph! poseurs!

something was probably wrong with me today. i think. instead of making a shape called a *forgot-what's-its-name-was*, i ended up making the below, because i was bored. i think i might be exhibiting some signs of autisticism or adhd.



but according to what dr. bala said to paul shutler, apparently i gained back some of my thinking power with the hair shave that i got. hmm... by the way, if you didn't already realize, that's made up of 20 regular hexagons, and 12 regular pentagons. and that there are definitely some buildings with this shape for the top - they're called the geodesic dome. correct my spelling if i'm wrong. and yes, this is exactly how your humble football is made up of too...

when i was starting on this ambitious work, paul shutler did quip that it looked diseased with all the green tape on it... *lol*

right now i'm duplicating 24 copies of this creative dance cd for my class. and guess what? i don't think it's a coincidence that i have exactly 24 identical cd jewel cases for all of them! thank You Lord!

presenting a newest form of transportation in nie!

damned tired. really tired. but good to realize it's a lot of people's birthdays today and tomorrow. annie, my poly classmate, celebrates her birthday today. jiewen celebrates hers tomorrow. day after, keng yin. hmm. too many liao lar, if i missed yours out, sorry!

and yes, found chester's website already. good read, loads of pictures!

oh, a tentative plan for this weekend.

thursday (evening ) - easy run around ntu/nie campus
friday (night) - stay overnight in campus
saturday (morning) - e.w. barker challenge run
saturday (afternoon) - cycle back to serangoon central from nie
saturday (evening) - meet beverly to pick up a particular school's yearbook...
sunday (morning) - cycle 70km with the project care group (half round-island trip)

anyway, i'm hoping to be a wild card for my class competing against weng's pdge year 2 class that is trained by dr. bala. anyway, i think i'm the only siao-eh cycling like that's the only way that humans were made to move.

oh, nearly forgot. say bye to audrey (soh) (aka huiling's vjc teammate then) when she was hopping off the train at jurong east mrt. then later i met thong seng and thong hua just when i was about to hop off the train at kallang with them. and on the 853 back home, i met my (graduated) pess senior susan as well - and she's staying only a couple of blocks away from me!...

and one last thing - i'll be helping to revamp the pess club website. will start on it soon...

guess what? now as i type this, i'm in the nie library's computer lab. it's pretty massive and such, and we have at least 90 computers for usage. we just need to book in and such. pretty automated system, on the whole, i'd contend.

when i tried to book a system for jamie and me to use, was reported as "no system available for booking". on a subsequent retry, we were assigned a computer, thankfully. i let jamie use the computer first, because all she wanted to do was to print out a course document. so she sat down, while i just walked around, trying to spot friends from the department. then i happened to venture near row 10, and saw a couple of servers there. then i turned around, and saw two guys playing a starcraft-like game full screen, minus the sound - remember it's the library! i went back over to the computer i was assigned to use, and then picked out my digital camera, walked right back to row 10, and took two pictures of the guys playing on the computers. i then whisked off to the adminstrator's table and reported what didn't make me happy to him.

soon after, that particular adminstrator walked over to those two guys, and the two guys left the computers fairly promptly. and guess what? one of the guys playing games on the computer is one of the newer adminstrator staff for the computer lab... they must have thought that the taxpayers' money is better spent playing games than not being switched on at all! i wonder why, frankly, the entire row of computers in row 10 were not available for booking in the first place then... was it for convenience? why weren't those computers made available for booking, if they were there in the first place? "oh, they're under maintenance!"... or something similar?

could it have been coincidence then, that row 10 is facing away from the rest of the users in the entire computer lab then? you get the drift...

havoc, havoc, and more havoc. i didn't sleep through sunday night into monday morning, instead, i cycled out from home at about 4:10am over to nie, and reached nie itself at 5:40am. then i parked my bike, and took a nap from 6:30am to 7:10am, whereafter i had my breakfast and then made my way to the nie pool by 8am, to practice what i was reading on sunday night, from the total immersion website. then at 8:30, it was basketball, followed with a 2 hour break, then it was gymnastics for an hour and subsequently two hours of tutorial (eed101), and one more one hour break where i fixed back the front wheel of my bike and submitted that exam entry form to the students affairs office, and then it was about one hour worth of creative dance (yes, that's one of our modules) where our theme was revolving flight and stuff about balloons. and after that it was soccer for about another hour (thank goodness i had my bike with me - so much faster cycling to the ntu src than walking there) and at the end of it, we'd all go back to our nie mph itself where i headed for the showers and washed up and changed into our class t-shirt - but ended getting it sweat-soaked from, playing basketball and of course the main game - floorball - which was our interclass games for the night. then i cycled out to meet the rest of the guys who took a bus instead to the 24 hour coffeeshop along the route of bus 179, and after eating, i made my way back to hall 8 where i sought refuge for the night in congren's room.... zzzz... tiring man! at least i realized that i'm still flesh and blood after all...

boy, you wouldn't wanna sleep if you went through what i went through... because you would definitely want to catch up on the sleep - at least, i do!

by the way, wer has some fresh pictures from the past few times we've met up at his online photo album.

just compiled the results for the nus triathlon 2002 held last weekend into this spreadsheet. sure makes comparisons easier to do... especially how i can leave edward in my dust in the future triathlon races we take part together...

just came back from the doctor's. dr. koh took a look at my well, sort of bloated right hand and gave the diagnosis of me being allergic to cephalexin. she also gave me a no-cost swap for the cephalexin, and gave me prednisolone instead. gosh, tomorrow i'm sure i would be able to bounce a danged basketball using my right hand... think i'd have to struggle to write using my left hand even! well, we'll see how things go yeah?...

oh yeah. forgot to write about yesterday's s-league match between home united and sengkang marines. about 5 minutes before the final whistle, the equalizer from home united came. then just probably nearly at the 90 minute mark, sengkang scored a three-on-one situation, if i saw correctly. hmm. now to prepare how to answer nick's question paper that encompasses two of our modules - soccer, and social/psychological foundations of sport.

it must be the cephalexin that's acting up queer on me. my right hand, especially the area around the right hand thumb, is pretty swollen, and has quite a lot of small blisters with a little amount of fliud inside. my left hamstring area, almost up to my butt is itching on and off, also apparent with some mild rashes. my right thighs, just above the knee, is also affected with rashes. and now my thumb is itching like crazy... want to scratch, but can't do too much of it... *agony*

can hardly bend my right thumb properly; cannot close my right hand into a proper, "normal" fist at all. and my right wrist is swollen too. argh.

i hate cephalexin.

oops. now i remember, that day for the triathlon i happened to see ronnie as well as jeraldine (is that her name), who were our watch leaders while we were at obs back in may...

and i would like to thank my "corporate" sponsor, peter for his santa cruz bike, marks, pureposer, and the various people who were there to offer support, as well as fellow togoparts.com members who took part, such as wer, dolphie, whippet, dream and zombie.

just did this test from a link at prissy's site...

what movie symbolism are you? find out!

did a cycling trip around home, as well as passing by huijia's area after i saw the doctor, again. this time, i was prescribed an unfamiliar antibiotic, cephalexin. after the doctor's, i cycled, stopped by and looked into xinghua primary, and watched the pe lessons go on. apparently, a malay girl took over both roger and me, and boy, does she stifle the kids' wants to play games! i'm appalled by the fact that when one of the boys from 5a5 sort of ran down another classmate on the shin, that malay girl was just looking on from a distance. the bell went off and the entire class went off, leaving only that partially-injured boy and another of his classmate on the soccer pitch. the teacher and the class had already left. goodness! being so rigid and not caring for the child! in fact, i myself put down my bike, and walked towards the boy before he rose up. just hope he remembers to apply ice if he feels the impact of the knock tonight...

1 tim 3:15
1 peter 2:5
genesis 28:10-17

what happens when the gates of heaven are open
1. when the gates of heaven are open, there are dreams and visions.
genesis 28:10-12?
prob 29:18
acts 2:17
ezekiel 1:1

2. when heaven is opened, the Holy Spirit can move freely among us.
matthew 3:16
mark 7:34-35
luke 5:17

3. when heaven is opened, God's power will be there to heal.
??

4. when heaven is opened, righteousness fills the land.
proverbs ?:??
isaiah 45:8

5. when heaven is opened, financial blessing will come readily to us.
deuteronomy 28:12

instances when the gates of heaven were shut close
deuteronomy 11:16-17
deuteronomy 28:23
2 chronicles 7:13

10 things that can close heavens
1. pride can close heaven over me
levithcus 26:19
james 4:6

2. spiritual complacency can close heaven over me
1 samuel 3:1
1 samuel 2:22,29
proverbs 1:28-29
matthew 5:3,6

3. ignoring the poor can close heaven over me
proverbs 21:13
proverbs 19:17
psalms 41:1-2
proverbs 14:31 (tlb) "anyone who oppresses the poor is insulting God who made them. to help the poor is to honor God."

4. habitual, deliberate sinning will close heaven over me
psalms 66:18
1 john 1:9
hebrews 10:26
you can't stop a bird flying over your head, but you sure can stop it building a nest over your head.

5. not tithing and giving can close heaven over me
malachi 3:8-10
deutronomy 14:23
matthew 6:33
"give and it shall be given back to you", not "pay and it shall be paid back to you"
"such", "there will", "be room", "to receive it" were not part of the original bible.

6. disunity with my church can close heaven over me
matthew 18:19-20
the place of agreement is the place of power!
matthew 16:18-19
matthew 5:23-24

7. bad tradition can close heaven over me
matthew 23:13
matthew 15:3,6
proverbs 23:?

8. unbelief can close heaven over me
mark 6:5-6
2 cor 10:4-5 (kjv)

9. prayerlessness can close heaven over me
luke 3:21
psalms 22:3

10. poor marital relationship can close heaven over me
1 peter 3:7

maybe one of those things that i am probably more predisposed to sense as a single white male is that... wtf am i writing about here? save for mom, and a few classmates, and good old buddy zongde, i don't think anyone else cares whether i'm dead or alive. personally i haven't found anyone who makes an attempt to care for me anyway. other than Him. now i'm having the company of two ulcers - one just under my lower gums, the other at the back of my throat - to give me a sensation of pain to let me know that i'm alive. can't even swallow my own saliva without inflicting a light wince from myself. o-u-c-h.

later i'm probably gonna swap the logic boards for both my identically matching ibm hard drives. hope the factory assigned bad sector thing corresponds, otherwise i'd be in deeper muck than i ever wanted.

someone help me. jiewen and a few other girls told me before that i tend to like a person far too early even before i get to know her. i know i can make a conscious choice whether to keep on doing so or not, but my cumulative years has embedded me a serendipity kind of romantic idea in my head. you know - the you-found-me-on-icq-and-i-would-like-to-date-you kind of thing? however stupid, retarded it may sound, i would rather win a girl's heart by being sweet to her. not acting to be sweet - but rather exuding my personal preference of being sweet to a girl.

i'll top off this afternoon with a repeat visit to the doctor's. my lower back is still aching, and i have no strength to lift up anything. i'm pretty sure that pushing my bike downstairs would probably sap me out of my entire life...

i've made up my mind. the girl i'm looking for has gotta match me with a sense of sweetness that is unparalleled; sporting (doesn't matter what sport, so long it isn't shopping and slopping, although mudwrestling might be interesting); younger than me; looks more of a girl than an auntie; has at least a slimmer waist than her hip so that i can give her a hug without letting my hand slip; and most importantly, a Christian. all others girls who do not match all criteria may apply to be my meis instead...

nothing much to blog today, except that i brought the two catalogs to school and shared them with the class guys. and i let zaskargal look through them as i took her zaskar race on a test ride on the grass field right beside the boon lay mrt station...

just came back from visiting gordon's girlfriend's (jenny's) dad's store around paya lebar to pick up some discount on some biking stuff. hmm. shan't divulge too much here, but i learnt a loadful from uncle today! by the way, i also got one bell helmet catalog, as well as a troy lee designs catalog from him free! oh yeah, and i picked up 5 bottles of each 4 fluid ounce finishline crosscountry wet type lubricant, and a 600ml citrus based degreaser all for some substantial bargain...

and yes, i got my m.c. from the doctor's. and i sent in (finally!) my dead ibm ultrastar 36lzx 18gb ultra160 scsi hard disk drive.

top of the pops - most eligible single females linked via my blog / signed my guestbook / and others.

1. eunice - for being such a i-can't-help-but-care-for-grannies girl
   
2. anne (jiewen) - for an amazing ability to think better than my 22+ year old "blain"
   
3. mingli - being a "small sister" figure to me
   
4. debbie - being a super-duper responsible person for anything she has help required from her
   
5. wooi ling - for showering our entire class with crazy, loopy, and countless peals of laughter that makes you laugh

suddenly, i realise it's so hard to come up with girls' names who aren't attached! coincidence, or is it just that i'm left behind?...

it's so dangerous writing about this topic - not because those girls whose names didn't appear here would clobber me, but rather so i might be tempted to fall for any one of them... alright. must keep reminding myself to stay conscious of how i control my feelings. but my personal "choiciest" pick is none other than eunice! she is all-so-sweet, plus she is so kawaii! worry not, eunice! just praising you here, not gonna woo you here...

but seriously, i consider this - how come the girl i end up liking, half the time already has someone else on mind? is there any girl who has me on her mind at all? yet? *ponder* maybe it's because whichever typical girl i've ever liked before, whose age ranges from 16 to 19, are to me, stuck in their own world of thought, especially on terms of bgr. some say, that when girls are young, they'd go for guys who give them excessive fun, and adventure, and possibly too, a bad boy. but once they mature enough to think about marriage, they'd look for someone a bit more drudgery (did i use the correct term?) and boring - but gives them the sense of security. i think i'm more of the latter, but i don't really know myself, yet. you can't see your own pluses/weaknesses through your own eyes...

effy : you'll see my botak pic when i have the free time to really do up my site...

while i was messaging mingli while jeslyn was driving both zongde and me back home today... i recalled that one single night-time out that i had as indeed my happiest day in my life (up to that age, probably four or five, or even up to now). if i remember correctly, aunt valerie's friend, whom i only knew as mr yang both wanted to bring both sis and me out on a dinner on a particular saturday night (if i remember correctly - but if i don't, it's because this incident was more than 17 years ago) to somewhere, of which place exactly, we didn't have a clue to at all. i remember that mom & dad didn't allow us to go initially, but eventually relented after much persuasion. they were staunch people who believed that kids should never, ever be spoilt at all in any way. meals, treats, and toys were what they themselves took pride in providing us, and we weren't allowed to accept any such offers from others at all. in the end, that simple (in today's context) dinner at kentucky fried chicken in thomson plaza was the best-ever, most satisfying meal, and most enjoyable outing i've ever had in my life till now. as i thought of the finer details of that night, as much as i can remember, tears of joy just flowed out of my eyes. a simple act for two children has had so much profound effect on one of them after nearly two decades... only now i can better understand how deeply i could influence children way after i have done something for them - because they carry on whatever they experienced through life, as long as they breathe. the legacy is eternal. indeed, life is so beautiful...

how i wish my life was as simple, and innocent as they were then. i miss how grandma used to fuss over me, more so than my own parents. i miss the times when grandpa would buy me several sticks of chocolate flavoured ice cream using the money he earned apparently as a part-time coffeeshop "uncle". and mind you, he wasn't the rotund fat uncle you would spot in coffeeshops - he looked painfully thin... but still, he sacrificed his "blood and sweat" money for me... and something that really stuck to my mind - there was this one time my grandma gave me $11 on a typical weekend visit back to toa payoh, all in single one dollar notes. definitely this was between 1986 and 1987, because she passed away in early 1988. that means that i was either just in primary one or two then. i remember the whole thing, not just for the fact that the amount of money was astronomical to a young primary school child - but i guess i inferred that she loved me so much that though she didn't have a 10-dollar bill in her purse, she still gave me because she was driven by a significant portion of her love in her for me.

i think it's high time i re-dedicated my energies of love back to the One who would never fail me - God. huijia, if you read this, i want you to know that i will wait for you, as i promised you as you heard - but i will re-dedicate myself to my Lord, whose perfect love never fails. maybe i should be more explicit this time round. i have to thank some of the girls in my life who contributed to my life in a way(s) or another. they are:

• wendy, for teaching me that a failed-to-start relation can always take a backseat to a brotherly-sisterly love relation;
  
• anne (jiewen), for giving me that hard-to-swallow pill regarding how much preparation love needs to have;
  
• eunice, for demonstrating the love for much senior citizens (yes, i read how you helped the granny in the wheelchair);
  
• mingli, for being a sweetie pie too;
  
• yilin, for willingly sacrificing for me because of her love for me;
  
• jasmine (phoenix), for mailing me that pic of the evolution 6 (this is a weird dedication)...;
  the girls in my cell group, for guiding me to love Christ more than i ever did in my life;
  
• grandma, for shielding me from my dad when he was getting overtly physical on a three/four year old (me) then;
  
• mom, for taking care of me since birth and trying to show me concern in various ways, despite of her brush with breast cancer last year.

oh yes, folks. think i'll be getting a m.c. tomorrow. i can sense that i'm seriously not feeling well now.

sunday, 11th august 2002:
the nus triathlon went on well. finished 34th position for men's open, and edward finished in 30th position. but i'm not sure whether i finished the six requisite loops for the cycling leg of the triathlon. but considering, if i were to finish the entire race just two minutes behind edward, then imagine how fast i could have been if i weren't even using paceman's santa cruz superlight, but some other triathlon-specific bike! anyway, edward's quintana roo kilo private reserve is fully decked out in shimano dura-ace cranks, gears, derailleurs and brakes! and he allowed me to try out his bike after the event, and i tell you, the ride of this qr is wonderful... because it's also decked out with one spinergy rev-x front wheel and mavic cosmic carbone rear wheel - and both wheels are aerodynamic!

monday, 12th august 2002:
in the afternoon, i had a heartache. not the medical version, but the emotional kind. i sms-ed huijia, asking how her paper went. she replied "ok", but later on added that she had been studying with a good guy friend, and they would probably get together after the prelims. sigh. i'm not really going to physically bang my head against the wall, but i felt that sharp blade slicing cleanly into my emotions. she had promised to hold off any engagement with anyone until her 'a' levels were all over. she'd tell me that if i were to appear in her life just last year, she'd definitely have me as her guy, no questions asked. it all makes the incision into my emotional well-being much deeper than before. in spite of this, i'm still willing to wait for her. may God stir up some magic that she may feel for me too, but it's alright if it ain't meant to be by Him. but this got me thinking - how come a guy like me can't get a girlfriend? what's wrong with me, that i need to correct instantly? do i not exhibit any form of taking care of the girls i've ever liked? God, i feel all the more that your eternal love for me is the realest form of all love in the world, but i really wish to have an earthly girl to love, and whom loves me too. maybe, on the bright side, i've been dealt this situation too many a time already, that i don't outwardly demonstrate sorrow. but to myself only, i know how it really feels.

in the evening, i went over to hup leong with cue where i bought a load of 8 presta, and 2 schraeder valve inner tubes, as well as a finishline aerosol can citrus-based degreaser. from there on we proceeded via taxi over to marche's heeren where we had dinner with wer and paceman. i asked paceman about what i should do regarding my sticky situation with huijia deciding to, well, you know... and he told me to think over this... "are you sure this is the girl you absolutely cannot live without?" i'm still trying to think it over now. pretty confused, by all accounts.

note to all those who signed in my guestbook, but i have yet to link - i'll add in your links to my links page as soon as i can get my computer's data back to life. i hope it's all within the next week or so... just check back here while you can, ok?

damned. one of my ibm ultrastar hard disks' scsi controller is bailing out on me. and that drive is holding all my software installation files! argh!

yesterday i went to paceman's place in balestier where we had dinner with wonkers, mark, and wer. and of course, not forgetting paceman's younger brother and his folks! but before that, we (the two marks, paceman and me) went over to giant hypermart at turf city, and gosh, the size of the entire plot of land seems so damned grand and big! queueing for that cashier was a big deal - really! if you noticed, it serves better to go in a group so that people can recce to find the shortest queue. the first queue we were on - we moved only 6 meters for 10 minutes. or just around there. in other not-so-nice words, wait long long!

before dinner started, i tried out paceman's santa cruz superlight - boy, was it light or what! only 11kg, maximum. full shimano xtr componentry, hayes hydraulic brakes, mavic crossmax tubeless wheelsets fitted out with panaracer trailblasters. all that for that low, low weight! incredible...

just had my hair shaved at the barber shop in jurong point. work quality - a. customer satisfaction - is there anything worse than "f"?

why do i say that? imagine this - 15 dollars spent on just a skinhead shave plus going over the scalp with a razor. if i just had a skinhead alone, it's only 10 dollars. so that's 5 dollars for "so much hard work" just to do the touch-up shaving? also that old malay barber who did the shaving for me assured me that he can help me to shave my leg hair, because i told him that i wouldn't want leg hair standing in the way in case i had a bad open injury on the leg, in case i had a bad crash on sunday. he answered me so fast that i thought he didn't hear me properly when he said yes. then i asked him the second time, because i thought possibly, he was just nodding his head just to say yes. he replied again, that it was ok. then he added something about that he wouldn't do it on a weekday though. huh? what was he talking about?

but when the skinhead plus razor was done, i was expecting the leg hair shave. guess what? he actually asked me for more money! what? 15 bucks for a simple skinhead and that's not enough? no massage, no shampoo (i'd have no hair anyway) and that's already potentially more expensive than having a haircut without shampooing at magic cut! and he dared to ask for more money? at least back at magic cut, i can get my hairstyling, massage and then shampooing, all for just 24 dollars. and with a hairstyling session at magic cut, i can see the distinct quality of their handiwork. but here i was, with a bald scalp, and needing to pay for quality that i can doubt? the guy who i saw through the reflection in the mirror in front of me was about to pay them for the hair trim - but when i saw the "duddy" hairstyle, i already knew the place wasn't one to trust.

so i tried to bargain with him.then the old man said, he doesn't shave leg hair. in fact, it didn't just stop there. the old man hurried me off his seat so that the only person standing outside waiting for a haircut can sit. hello?

boycott that barber shop, guys. i feel somewhat cheated, but it's over anyway. just don't go there.

so many things happened. i came back a couple of hours ago after cycling back from nus, after registering for this sunday's nus triathlon. along the way back, i stopped by at stacey's place, but after waiting for probably 30 minutes or more, her maid told me she wasn't in... that's the problem you get when you have a big house.

as i was on my way to nus from nie, i passed by one malay guy riding an white colour framed intense uzzi, while cycling over that bridge over some canal or what near the clementi fire station... cool!

for soccer today, we initially started being individual. we just ran our way winding left-right of cones placed in a straight line on the field. once we were at the breadth of the entire rectangular setup, we had to sprint to the other length side and continue doing that weaving left-right. then the second round, that sprint was replaced with a sidestep. that was for warmups. then the show began with partner pairing. one partner would navigate the same course, same layout, this time dribbling a ball around the cones. the other partner follows behind, tracing the route. after this, in the respective pairs, we run amok in that large rectangle, with one partner jogging around, and the other partner with the football dribbling and tracing the exact route taken, while keeping the route as random as possible, without deliberate collision with other pairings. then it just got worse... a 5 meter acceleration was added into this follow-your-partner-and-dribbling thing, and of course, you could sabotage your partner if he/she can't do well! and of course, there was a changeover for this practice!

then we tried to have a partner trapping the ball, and avoiding having the ball tapped away by foot, by the corresponding partner. tiring man!... after this, we then moved on to two guys on one side, and one guy on another side, about 15 to 20 meters apart. emphasis is "keep the ball moving".

• stage 1: dribble the football up to the half area, and then pass to player in front. proceed running to the other side, as the player now with the ball does exactly what you did. repeat.
  
• stage 2: same as before, but this time pretend there's a fandi in front of you ready to steal your ball. now evade him and continue passing the ball after avoiding "him". repeat.
  
• stage 3: now two teams of three set up two small goals opposite each other, and then players have to keep ball on ground at all times. pass (to make your teammates look good) and dribble, fake and try to score.

made a mention to ruoying regarding the giant racer she wants to sell off - but she's waiting for valuation before selling. not to forget though, today our samba boys and gals did our stomp! for the national day observance ceremony's performance section... and featuring our very own siva was our parade commander!

by some freakish coincidence, janice's name was mentioned on this site, with a particular reference to vanness. who is vanness? and is this the same janice of whom i was previously wooing? i have no idea at all. you see, janice actually sms-ed me out of the blue to ask me to vote for her to appear in this vanness' mtv today... check out i-magazine, page 125. sheer coincidence or something more than that? anyway, the person i have on my mind is huijia. janice is old news in my life already.

what an exciting day today was! i managed to get back my torn specialized saddle today!

the day's lessons ended, and with fellow guys from my class, we were all supposed to run in preparation for the e.w. barker charity run, by running the actual route itself. then as we ran past the bus stop that was directly opposite ntu canteen a, chained to the bus stop railings there, was a steel bike with my lost saddle! i immediately broke off from the running group, and then quickly swooned over the saddle like flies to bullshit. oops. anyway, i instinctively wanted to pull off the saddle and make my way back to nie. surprisingly enough, the seatpost was very loose! i thought, "wow, this person who took my saddle doesn't even bother about whether it fits properly or not, just got something soft and cushy can one liao..." and then what then struck me was, that the fact that the saddle was locked to the railing with the same cablelock! pretty crafty, huh?

what i did next was probably overboard, but i intended it to stall the bike owner, and to buy me time. i ran back quickly into nie, grabbed my bicycle, informed one of the security personnel whom i reported this theft to, and got the phone number to the nie security office. i subsequently zipped over back to the bus stop and pulled out my parktool multitool out of my parktool mini tool kit, and immediately loosened the allen key nut that is at the stem of the handlebar. that would affect by losing the steering of the entire bike! i also loosened the brake cables, pulled out the front skewer, further loosened the entire saddle and seatpost, and deflated both tires. i quickly moved back in case that bike owner spotted me and would take a bus instead, and escape scot-free. i then called cue to tell him about it, and he suggested the best way to buy time for my case - which is to derail the chain at the front.

i took a 30 minute wait about 200 meters away, and sure enough! the bike owner appeared! as he was fumbling with the derailed chain, i called the nie security to send someone over to assist me... which in the end, never came - because thefts in nie are not covered by the security, unless they happen to witness it. that's not so helpful when you need help. i quickly put down my bike on the road kerb of the bus stop, and told the guy to pass me his matriculation card. initially he resisted doing so, but then he did it anyway. i copied his information down, and then he explained to me that his bike was all along parked in nie block 3 basement 2 (not my block's basement 2) for a very long time, and his brother only collected the bike recently. i called security again, but they weren't going to send anyone down. so i accompanied this guy, and pushed our bikes over to the ntu src to look for his brother to demand an explanation.

upon reaching the src, i offered to fix back up all the components that i tampered with to stall time, while he went to look for his brother. and when the brother appeared, and even managed to call my name, i was shocked. it was haoxiang whom i met at the nie pool last year! what a coincidence... for the wrong reasons. after hearing him explain himself, apparently what happened was that he had all along parked his bike at nie block 3 for a damned long time (why there instead of ntu, even before his brother came to nie this july, is a massive question itself). so long a period of time that spiderwebs were found on the bike frame! this i'm very sure, because i had to get rid of one small spider from that china-kind saddle! on the account that i spoke to him once before, i trust that he's really also indeed a member of hendon camp, like what he told me at the nie pool previously. so i gave his brother and him the benefit of the doubt.

whoever's interested to attend the national day parade, vivien is helping a friend of hers to sell pair of tickets. details available at vivien's site.

gosh. the morning traffic jam at boon lay interchange is really atrocious. thankfully, i'm partnering zongde to go into ntu/nie tomorrow morning. it sure is a lot faster than cycling in, i'd say! but the price of mobility is eternal vigilance, at least that's what i learnt from star wars. with my souped up not-removable-without-tools seatpost and saddle, that danged thief is gonna fail to snatch my saddle.

basically today morning was spent cleaning my bike. i even took apart the chainring gears and wiped them clean of the black grease/grime that accumulated there for goodness-knows-how-long. the afternoon was spent as kit leong and i cycled to punggol point. we ventured around the area, and we saw how glam/unglam that ponggol marina was. the campsite that i spent my primary 5 class camp back over a decade ago, was gone too - it was apparently mowed to the ground. that camp was pretty nostalgic... waaay back in 1990... i can never forget that day as we moved into the campsite, there was a fire that affected a chicken farm right beside us. and the fact that we had no electricity during the night, because there was a fear of re-igniting the ambers next door. that candlelit night where we spent doing almost nothing. and getting to know pinwei for the first time, who became my primary six classmate the next year, just because i think i had to borrow a candle from her. hmm. and the boys catching the toads that appeared all over the grass field where we pitched our tents - either they were the good guys (getting rid of the toads) or the bad guys (catching the toads to release them in the girls' tents)...

oh anyway... i brought kit leong over to where huijia stays, and then stopped and called her. too bad, her parents were at home, so she could not pop down to say "hi" to me...